HOW TO HANDLE THE UNEXPECTED?
Below are practical ways you can handle the unexpected…
We all have this moment in our lives when all we get isn’t what we expect, a time when we set our heart on a particular thing and it ended up with another thing. It’s like you expect to get a Vanilla Ice-cream but got a chocolate ice cream instead. You sure know how disappointing that can be. Whenever an expectation isn’t met, it leaves the expecter discouraged, sad or hurt, because expectations control a huge amount of our emotions, such that, when it doesn’t work out the way we wanted or expected, crying, being sad or disappointed becomes inevitable. However, before I delve deep, I’d love to establish what Expectation is. According to Collins dictionary, “An Expectation is a strong belief which you have about the proper way something should happen or how someone should behave”. It is you looking forward to seeing something happen in a certain way but eventually, it doesn’t work out the way you predict. Some of the unexpected might be good (like birthday surprises or having your fiancé propose to you), while some aren’t that good (such as betrayal or disappointment) which is what I’ll be focusing on in this article. You can be the kind of person who loves making new friends, a sociable person, hardworking, loyal and a devoted person to relationships be it romantic or friendship, however, all you get in return is someone hurting you, and this has left you hanging at the cliff edge where you find it difficult living the way you wanted or make new association without being anxious or experiencing fear. The pressure of this experience has affected your mind, mood and behaviour toward people around you. It has made you hostile to people, not caring if the person meant good. You’ve stopped giving people a chance into your life. This has made every day feel like hell on the inside. With clear observations, I’ve come to understand some interesting truths about humans and how you can handle the aftermath of the ”not so good side” of the unexpected, which is what I’ll be sharing in a short while. But before that, I’d like to say this, this article isn’t meant to tell you how to avoid the unexpected from happening, however, it is to give you a practical way of dealing with abrupt events. You see people will hurt your feelings, they would want to take advantage of your vulnerability. It can even be someone close to you, someone, you trust. Shocking events will happen, but when this happens, how do you intend to deal with it? You have no idea, right? Not to worry, I have gathered some points that can help you handle the "not so good side" of the unexpected when it happens.
1. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THE BEST OF MAN IS STILL MAN
When I say Man, I mean both Male and Female. So what do I mean by this? Humans aren’t perfect, we can make mistakes. You must come to the point of realizing and accepting the frailties of Man. No matter how perfect you may be, you can still make mistakes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all humans are the same here, and not all humans will hurt or betray you just like the other person did. There are too many good people out there who are willing to help and ready to love you. But you must understand that everyone has the right to decide the way he/she wants to live his/her life. Because when God created Man, He created us with willpower. That is to say, we can choose what we want and who we want to be. You can decide to be a good or an evil person, be loyal or disloyal. The nature of Man has both weaknesses and strengths. You can be strong today and weak tomorrow. When you understand this, it will reduce the effect of betrayal or disappointments on you. This will also encourage you to develop a forgiving nature, recognizing that you too can make mistakes and hurt others. However, you won’t develop this personality overnight, it won’t bounce on you immediately, but rather, it takes consistent practice and your willingness to adjust to others weaknesses.
2. ACCEPT WHAT HAS HAPPENED, CRY AND MOVE ON.
I’ve come to know that, the longer you hold on to the grudge you have towards the person who hurts you, the deeper and bigger the pain will grow in your heart. You mustn’t respond to hatred with hatred. Just like I said afore, people will hurt you, they’ll do something to you that the best response to give at that time will either be to punch them, pull out their hair if it’s between girls or even curse at them. But after doing all of these, what remedy does it leaves you? You’ll notice that it’ll only escalate the issue and cause your heart to bleed even more. For instance, you own a house, and by mistake, your house-help or even your teenage child forgot to switch off the gas after cooking and took off to play football. Unfortunately, that led to an explosion. At that point, the only feeling that you’ll have left for that child will be anger. nonetheless, after letting out these feelings, what solution does it bring? The best thing to do at that moment is to call on the firefighters to put out the fire in other to lessen the damage the fire will cause to your properties. And as the fire becomes mere embers, count your loss, sort out the leftovers and prepare to recuperate. The time you’ll use to express your feelings more damage would’ve been made to the house and you might even hurt the child, which you’ll still be the one to pay for the treatment bills. So the best you can do is to accept what has happened, once you accept it as part of life, it will be easy for you to deal with it and go for solving it (move on).
3. DEVELOP A SELF CONTROLLED ATTITUDE
This is part of the point I made earlier, however, I think it must be treated on its own. You must be self-controlled. I can’t overemphasize how being self-controlled has saved me from lots of trouble and from turning issues that shouldn’t take me many days to heal into something I’ll carry for years because when pain is mishandled, it’ll build into frustration and isolation. Therefore, self-control is the ability to discipline your body as to how to respond to things emotionally, mentally and physically. You must train yourself to the point whereby you think thoroughly before you act so that you don’t just act rashly. Because your reaction determines the tide the event will turn. You must gain control over your feelings and not allow your feelings to control you. When you’re controlled by your feelings, it’ll be difficult for you to hold back anger, hatred and physical violence when it comes. To be self-controlled isn’t something you develop overnight; however, it is something you build over time. As the saying goes, “Practice makes perfection”. Simply put, you get better at what you do consistently. Be intentional about developing this attitude, because by so doing, you’ll save yourself from lots of troubles and unnecessary burdens.
In conclusion, while there is no possible way to avoid unexpected events from happening, there is a possible way to handle it before or when it happens. After all, unexpected adverse events don’t have the power to break you if and only if you do not allow its effect to linger for too long in your heart. Even though the effect of the event might not be dealt with immediately, trust me, going by the above points will serve as a game-changer for you, before or after the unexpected events. It will also prepare you ahead of time on how to adapt to any life situation and you with the proper way to react to situations. Do not run away or hide from life. Do not torture yourself because of what has or will happen. You cannot control everything that’s happening in your life, but you can manage and control how it affects you. I hope you enjoyed reading this article.
